Saturday, May 28, 2016
Life: “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”...
Life: “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”...: "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night"... So how is it that a chronically ill person seems to be miserable the most a...
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night"...
So how is it that a chronically ill person seems to be miserable the most at night? Is it because we lay and notice the pain more, or that we talk to God and it just seems like he ever seems to answer our prayers (but of course all in God's time not ours) I don't know about you, my med's seem to let me sleep for about 4-5 hours and then my bladder and Maggie's bladder wakes us both up. Then I lay back down and I am in pain, but I hate to take my pain med's because I really need these when I am up and at work.
So the day gives us sunshine, we strive to look at the sunshine and look up and let the rays beam down on our face and just wish. Wish for what? We all have so many different wishes. But a chronically ill person looks for different wishes? I am always drinking my coffee and I sit on my patio on my days off from work and look to the skies and just stare at the sky and I feel befuddled. I don't know why, but I do. I think befuddled is a good way to describe my feelings.
My husband said that "I think way too much". Well if I don't who will. I need to think about so many different things because if I don't my mind would go nuts. I think about the things I can no longer do or the things I had wished for. So I had to rewrite my bucket list to easier things.
A day without sunshine is a day that a chronically ill person lives with.When all they can do is look out their hospital window and watch the world continue to pass by even tho they can no longer be a part of the big world God has created for us. (Or if you think the Big Ban Theory brought us all about). No matter what the shades will eventually be lowered and after family and friends that come to visit and cry and try to make you smile with gifts and loves and kisses. "no one can take your pain away"...So Why me?
Sometimes we lay in the dark of our beds whether at home or at a hospital or nursing home and realize that most likely sometime we may fly high about it all. And instead of the nights being hard on us chronically ill, the nights will be hard for our family & friends. Our once beds will be made and our items will become a shrine for our loved ones.
And then their sunshine will turn to nights and they will cry themselves to sleep as we touch their cheeks as their guardian Angels. And it gives them comfort. Comfort to know we are still alive within them.
It all takes time for our loved ones to learn to sleep at night again and it takes time for our loved one to move on. Will they ever forget? Nope, we will become a memory in their minds and they will struggle to live on and each year they will visit our grave side , even though that is just our shells. Our souls have descended into heaven to be in Gods army.
Not all chronically ill people suffer from cancer, lupus, loss of eyesight; limbs, etc. There so many of us who look good on the outside (we can do our hair, put on makeup and dress good) but we never show the pain our insides our screaming out that we are in such pain that we just don't even want to get up. I know each day I place my feet on the floor, I thank God (sometimes I wish God would have taken me) but I have a purpose and I place my hands on my heart and feel the heart beat and realize that we do have a purpose. Some people never know what their purpose is. Maybe we all need to look for our purpose in our lives no matter if we are sick.
It is so sad to me that families choose to hate and not love because all we have to share in our lives is our childhoods. I am always telling my 3 kids, "no one else will ever share the things that they did together as they grew up"? And since they have grown up they have came to that realization.
But some people are so bull headed, but "The sunshine turns into night" and you could be taken some night to join God's army.
"Do you have so many things left unsaid?
We all have a past and that is it; our past is just that a past. It does define us but "if the sunshine never comes out then can we look forward to the stars that come out at night?" because each star is our loved ones looking down on us. Some believe some don't. That is fine, we all have our own free will.
"So a day without sunshine is like, you know night"
So what kind of sunshine do you want so your nights are easier?
A chronically ill person; just like me, show doesn't look so sick on the outside (well except my feeding tube, my power port and the fact that I vomit a lot), I look ok on the outside. But my insides are all jacked up. I have gone from hell and back dealing with this horrific illness that no one seems to want to recognize or they look "befuddled" when you explain it to them.
For now I am able to get up each day, go to work and I just try. I come home exhausted but I keep trying because I know someday I won't be able to. Each time I do to the hospital and get my tube changed out, I swear it takes a month off of my life. Laying open in the OR given cocktails so they can change out your tube so you having some way to eat, is so extremely hard, but we do it each and every day for our family.
There will come a day that we all will have to make choices about our health and whatever our own choices are it is something that our friends and family need to understand because until you walk in our foot steps you will never ever know our daily struggles.
We all look for "A day with Sunshine, so our nights are full of stars" and not just sleepless nights in pain.
Keep Smiling
Carla
So how is it that a chronically ill person seems to be miserable the most at night? Is it because we lay and notice the pain more, or that we talk to God and it just seems like he ever seems to answer our prayers (but of course all in God's time not ours) I don't know about you, my med's seem to let me sleep for about 4-5 hours and then my bladder and Maggie's bladder wakes us both up. Then I lay back down and I am in pain, but I hate to take my pain med's because I really need these when I am up and at work.
So the day gives us sunshine, we strive to look at the sunshine and look up and let the rays beam down on our face and just wish. Wish for what? We all have so many different wishes. But a chronically ill person looks for different wishes? I am always drinking my coffee and I sit on my patio on my days off from work and look to the skies and just stare at the sky and I feel befuddled. I don't know why, but I do. I think befuddled is a good way to describe my feelings.
My husband said that "I think way too much". Well if I don't who will. I need to think about so many different things because if I don't my mind would go nuts. I think about the things I can no longer do or the things I had wished for. So I had to rewrite my bucket list to easier things.
A day without sunshine is a day that a chronically ill person lives with.When all they can do is look out their hospital window and watch the world continue to pass by even tho they can no longer be a part of the big world God has created for us. (Or if you think the Big Ban Theory brought us all about). No matter what the shades will eventually be lowered and after family and friends that come to visit and cry and try to make you smile with gifts and loves and kisses. "no one can take your pain away"...So Why me?
Sometimes we lay in the dark of our beds whether at home or at a hospital or nursing home and realize that most likely sometime we may fly high about it all. And instead of the nights being hard on us chronically ill, the nights will be hard for our family & friends. Our once beds will be made and our items will become a shrine for our loved ones.
And then their sunshine will turn to nights and they will cry themselves to sleep as we touch their cheeks as their guardian Angels. And it gives them comfort. Comfort to know we are still alive within them.
It all takes time for our loved ones to learn to sleep at night again and it takes time for our loved one to move on. Will they ever forget? Nope, we will become a memory in their minds and they will struggle to live on and each year they will visit our grave side , even though that is just our shells. Our souls have descended into heaven to be in Gods army.
Not all chronically ill people suffer from cancer, lupus, loss of eyesight; limbs, etc. There so many of us who look good on the outside (we can do our hair, put on makeup and dress good) but we never show the pain our insides our screaming out that we are in such pain that we just don't even want to get up. I know each day I place my feet on the floor, I thank God (sometimes I wish God would have taken me) but I have a purpose and I place my hands on my heart and feel the heart beat and realize that we do have a purpose. Some people never know what their purpose is. Maybe we all need to look for our purpose in our lives no matter if we are sick.
It is so sad to me that families choose to hate and not love because all we have to share in our lives is our childhoods. I am always telling my 3 kids, "no one else will ever share the things that they did together as they grew up"? And since they have grown up they have came to that realization.
But some people are so bull headed, but "The sunshine turns into night" and you could be taken some night to join God's army.
"Do you have so many things left unsaid?
We all have a past and that is it; our past is just that a past. It does define us but "if the sunshine never comes out then can we look forward to the stars that come out at night?" because each star is our loved ones looking down on us. Some believe some don't. That is fine, we all have our own free will.
"So a day without sunshine is like, you know night"
So what kind of sunshine do you want so your nights are easier?
A chronically ill person; just like me, show doesn't look so sick on the outside (well except my feeding tube, my power port and the fact that I vomit a lot), I look ok on the outside. But my insides are all jacked up. I have gone from hell and back dealing with this horrific illness that no one seems to want to recognize or they look "befuddled" when you explain it to them.
For now I am able to get up each day, go to work and I just try. I come home exhausted but I keep trying because I know someday I won't be able to. Each time I do to the hospital and get my tube changed out, I swear it takes a month off of my life. Laying open in the OR given cocktails so they can change out your tube so you having some way to eat, is so extremely hard, but we do it each and every day for our family.
There will come a day that we all will have to make choices about our health and whatever our own choices are it is something that our friends and family need to understand because until you walk in our foot steps you will never ever know our daily struggles.
We all look for "A day with Sunshine, so our nights are full of stars" and not just sleepless nights in pain.
Keep Smiling
Carla
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