Saturday, August 20, 2016
Life: Life gives you lemons...
Life: Life gives you lemons...: "When life gives you lemons instead of making lemonade; squirt someone in the eye" Gosh I sure wish I could do this. I am sure ...
Life gives you lemons...
"When life gives you lemons instead of making lemonade; squirt someone in the eye"
Gosh I sure wish I could do this. I am sure most people could say the same thing. I do believe we all have been in so many situations that you may feel this way. I just think Karma will squirt the lemon into some of the people's eyes that deserve it.
I know I feel like life has squirted lemons into my eyes. It hit me with a huge punch in the gut, totally and completely. I mean hey; I have severe digestive system disorder, complications from feeding tubes, Severe Gastroparesis, Adult Failure to Thrive, Bipolar, Attempted Suicide, COPD, Fibromyalgia, Restless leg syndrome, rotting teeth, poor eye sight and I don't know so many more health issues. So yep "Karma squirted me in the eye". But why?
What did I ever do to deserve this miserable existence? I just keep feeling like I am being punished, but God doesn't do that. He gives us only what we can handle. Well God "I am not such a bad ass anymore" at least not like I used to be.
I was handling all of my health issues to a point and the Gastric Bypass in 2011 gave me new life. I felt good about myself after carrying up alot of weight from having 3 kids. So I lost like 115 lbs and I was looking in the mirror and liking myself. "That lemon stopped squirting me". Little did I know that I would have so may health issues and multiple surgeries after my GB surgery. Two of those pretty much killed me. I have never been the same since. The older I get the harder these illnesses are on me. But this Gastroparesis is the sinker. Now it is "squirting lemon into my eye's". And it HURTS...
I thought I knew what hurt was, God knows I have been through way to much mental, emotional, physical and spiritual hurt. Heck, I even attempted suicide and survived. Sometimes I wonder has my life changed since then. Hmmmm, nope it has only gotten worse. (Disclaimer: No I am not suicidal - thank heavens)...But yep there is that "lemon".
This Gastroparesis will take a strong person down to their knees; litterally and in prayer. I can't count how many times I have hit my knees at the toilet, the sink, the trash can, the side of the road and yep knees on the floor talking to God. Asking each and every time "Please take this from me". I guess that won't happen (at least not right now; there is no cure).
Gastroparesis I do believe ranks right up there with cancer. I know the pain and the hurt a person goes thru with cancer and some are true survivors and then some families are lost after a loved one dies. Any death to a chronic illness just isn't fair. Of course nothing is fair. We are not going to get our of her alive. I pray I will go up to even and become a Angel.
Being chronically ill really makes one want to squirt some people in the eye. But most nurses, doctors, caretakers are a blessing. Trying to explain this illness to people who have no idea just look at us like we are lying and they are dumb founded. Squirt eye.
I know with my chronic illnesses I have been reflecting on regrets, memories and joys. I have went thru alot of the regrets and the memories are still flooding me. Just last night I was into a dream with real reality and it was so graphic that I was right then and there. Then it throws you awake and makes you cry and cry. Seems like dreams bring on many memories good or bad and then wakes you and you realize it was so real and you just cry. I am happy these memories come to me, because that's all I have to hold onto.
This last 3-4 weeks have been hard between financial, emotion and mentally. I have been so sick since my last tube change out and cannot eat or I vomit. So my moto is and I write it to condition myself is: "I cannot eat or I vomit". I will keep saying and writing this. Boy do I want to squirt the doctors in the eye (at least it would make me feel better)
Coming to an end, remember the best way to release stress and frustrations is a true adult "temper tantrum". Trust me it really helps and makes you squirt someone in the eye with a lemon.... (you will feel much better)
Keep Smiling
Carla
Gosh I sure wish I could do this. I am sure most people could say the same thing. I do believe we all have been in so many situations that you may feel this way. I just think Karma will squirt the lemon into some of the people's eyes that deserve it.
I know I feel like life has squirted lemons into my eyes. It hit me with a huge punch in the gut, totally and completely. I mean hey; I have severe digestive system disorder, complications from feeding tubes, Severe Gastroparesis, Adult Failure to Thrive, Bipolar, Attempted Suicide, COPD, Fibromyalgia, Restless leg syndrome, rotting teeth, poor eye sight and I don't know so many more health issues. So yep "Karma squirted me in the eye". But why?
What did I ever do to deserve this miserable existence? I just keep feeling like I am being punished, but God doesn't do that. He gives us only what we can handle. Well God "I am not such a bad ass anymore" at least not like I used to be.
I was handling all of my health issues to a point and the Gastric Bypass in 2011 gave me new life. I felt good about myself after carrying up alot of weight from having 3 kids. So I lost like 115 lbs and I was looking in the mirror and liking myself. "That lemon stopped squirting me". Little did I know that I would have so may health issues and multiple surgeries after my GB surgery. Two of those pretty much killed me. I have never been the same since. The older I get the harder these illnesses are on me. But this Gastroparesis is the sinker. Now it is "squirting lemon into my eye's". And it HURTS...
I thought I knew what hurt was, God knows I have been through way to much mental, emotional, physical and spiritual hurt. Heck, I even attempted suicide and survived. Sometimes I wonder has my life changed since then. Hmmmm, nope it has only gotten worse. (Disclaimer: No I am not suicidal - thank heavens)...But yep there is that "lemon".
This Gastroparesis will take a strong person down to their knees; litterally and in prayer. I can't count how many times I have hit my knees at the toilet, the sink, the trash can, the side of the road and yep knees on the floor talking to God. Asking each and every time "Please take this from me". I guess that won't happen (at least not right now; there is no cure).
Gastroparesis I do believe ranks right up there with cancer. I know the pain and the hurt a person goes thru with cancer and some are true survivors and then some families are lost after a loved one dies. Any death to a chronic illness just isn't fair. Of course nothing is fair. We are not going to get our of her alive. I pray I will go up to even and become a Angel.
Being chronically ill really makes one want to squirt some people in the eye. But most nurses, doctors, caretakers are a blessing. Trying to explain this illness to people who have no idea just look at us like we are lying and they are dumb founded. Squirt eye.
I know with my chronic illnesses I have been reflecting on regrets, memories and joys. I have went thru alot of the regrets and the memories are still flooding me. Just last night I was into a dream with real reality and it was so graphic that I was right then and there. Then it throws you awake and makes you cry and cry. Seems like dreams bring on many memories good or bad and then wakes you and you realize it was so real and you just cry. I am happy these memories come to me, because that's all I have to hold onto.
This last 3-4 weeks have been hard between financial, emotion and mentally. I have been so sick since my last tube change out and cannot eat or I vomit. So my moto is and I write it to condition myself is: "I cannot eat or I vomit". I will keep saying and writing this. Boy do I want to squirt the doctors in the eye (at least it would make me feel better)
Coming to an end, remember the best way to release stress and frustrations is a true adult "temper tantrum". Trust me it really helps and makes you squirt someone in the eye with a lemon.... (you will feel much better)
Keep Smiling
Carla
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)