Friday, April 22, 2016
Life: Nobody said it is easy...
Life: Nobody said it is easy...: "Nobody ever said it was going to be so easy" Ok, so what does everybody mean when it is stated that nothing was ever going to b...
Nobody said it is easy...
"Nobody ever said it was going to be so easy"
Ok, so what does everybody mean when it is stated that nothing was ever going to be easy?
Does that mean life?
I hate to think that life is always hard. I don't think anyone would want life to be so hard all the time. I do believe that most of us would like to at least be able to enjoy the things that we want. No matter what we consider is our favorite things, we at least wish to be able to do some of our wishes.
I know when you are young and healthy you look at life so differently. But once you get to be older and more wiser you look at like differently also.
But what is you become chronically ill? So what kind of life are you going to be living? No one ever wishes to be a burden, or to be handicapped, mentally ill, physically ill or what ever the chronic illness we are dealt in life. But just as stated about nothing in life is every easy. No matter what anyone's circumstances are life is never easy in different stages of our own individual lives.
But one thing is for sure, we never want to become chronically ill. That is when our mind set becomes different. A chronically ill person spends a lot of their time wishing they were healthy again. But instead we spend most of our times in the ER, in the hospitals, going to doctors, having surgeries, seeing counselors, finding ourselves fighting to survive whatever hand we are dealt. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.
Our lives are turned up side down. We either have to learn to accept our lives being torn by a serious chronic illness, or we fight it off, or we just keep telling ourselves that we are going to get better if we just do this, or that or ask for a better healthier life. Then the reality starts to set in. We suddenly look in the mirror and what we see back is a chronically ill person. Sometimes we don't even recognize who it is that is looking back yourself. You begin to question "who am I"? "what did I go to deserve this"? Maybe if I had done things differently when I was young and then I wouldn't be sick. However we know that no matter what we did in our younger years of life it doesn't always impact us as to how our lives will be when we get older and we are diagnosed with a illness that makes your heart beat faster, you break out in a sweat and you just simply become numb.
When I was told that I had become chronically ill with a terminal outlook, I was in such shock that I had became numb. My life had came to an end in my own mind. And yes I looked in the mirror and saw a differently face looking back at me. I just couldn't understand yep that question once again "why me"?
So I have started to look for a purpose in my life. Even tho my life now consists of medicines, doctor and after doctor, hospital stays after another hospital stay, nausea and vomiting, and more vomiting and not being able to eat. Living with a feeding tube day in and day out. Feeding myself thru this feeding tube for what ever the rest of my life going to be. Surgery after surgery to replace my tube and put in a port because I had been stuck a kazillion times all of my life. I start to hate myself. And life had become a hard pill to swallow and had left a bitter taste in your mouth.
So now I have had to change my way of life. My families way of life and just wondering when the day will come that my family will be sitting with me as I take my last breath and knowing to myself that I caused all of their pain, and there is nothing I can do to make this pain in their lives go away.
Yes "nobody ever said it was going to be easy", we just never stop to think what in our lives was ever going to be easy. I look at myself in the mirror and now a different set of eyes look back at me and those eyes have pain, sorrow, hurt, denial, anger and yet will. The will to keep living for our spouses, significant others, our children our families and we keep fighting. Not always our will but their will. Yep we fight and someday's we fight to just tell our families each day that we hit our feet on the floor every morning that we love them. Because yep, one day we won't be able to.
"Nobody ever said it was going to be easy"
Keep Smiling
Carla
Ok, so what does everybody mean when it is stated that nothing was ever going to be easy?
Does that mean life?
I hate to think that life is always hard. I don't think anyone would want life to be so hard all the time. I do believe that most of us would like to at least be able to enjoy the things that we want. No matter what we consider is our favorite things, we at least wish to be able to do some of our wishes.
I know when you are young and healthy you look at life so differently. But once you get to be older and more wiser you look at like differently also.
But what is you become chronically ill? So what kind of life are you going to be living? No one ever wishes to be a burden, or to be handicapped, mentally ill, physically ill or what ever the chronic illness we are dealt in life. But just as stated about nothing in life is every easy. No matter what anyone's circumstances are life is never easy in different stages of our own individual lives.
But one thing is for sure, we never want to become chronically ill. That is when our mind set becomes different. A chronically ill person spends a lot of their time wishing they were healthy again. But instead we spend most of our times in the ER, in the hospitals, going to doctors, having surgeries, seeing counselors, finding ourselves fighting to survive whatever hand we are dealt. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.
Our lives are turned up side down. We either have to learn to accept our lives being torn by a serious chronic illness, or we fight it off, or we just keep telling ourselves that we are going to get better if we just do this, or that or ask for a better healthier life. Then the reality starts to set in. We suddenly look in the mirror and what we see back is a chronically ill person. Sometimes we don't even recognize who it is that is looking back yourself. You begin to question "who am I"? "what did I go to deserve this"? Maybe if I had done things differently when I was young and then I wouldn't be sick. However we know that no matter what we did in our younger years of life it doesn't always impact us as to how our lives will be when we get older and we are diagnosed with a illness that makes your heart beat faster, you break out in a sweat and you just simply become numb.
When I was told that I had become chronically ill with a terminal outlook, I was in such shock that I had became numb. My life had came to an end in my own mind. And yes I looked in the mirror and saw a differently face looking back at me. I just couldn't understand yep that question once again "why me"?
So I have started to look for a purpose in my life. Even tho my life now consists of medicines, doctor and after doctor, hospital stays after another hospital stay, nausea and vomiting, and more vomiting and not being able to eat. Living with a feeding tube day in and day out. Feeding myself thru this feeding tube for what ever the rest of my life going to be. Surgery after surgery to replace my tube and put in a port because I had been stuck a kazillion times all of my life. I start to hate myself. And life had become a hard pill to swallow and had left a bitter taste in your mouth.
So now I have had to change my way of life. My families way of life and just wondering when the day will come that my family will be sitting with me as I take my last breath and knowing to myself that I caused all of their pain, and there is nothing I can do to make this pain in their lives go away.
Yes "nobody ever said it was going to be easy", we just never stop to think what in our lives was ever going to be easy. I look at myself in the mirror and now a different set of eyes look back at me and those eyes have pain, sorrow, hurt, denial, anger and yet will. The will to keep living for our spouses, significant others, our children our families and we keep fighting. Not always our will but their will. Yep we fight and someday's we fight to just tell our families each day that we hit our feet on the floor every morning that we love them. Because yep, one day we won't be able to.
"Nobody ever said it was going to be easy"
Keep Smiling
Carla
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Life: Fine...
Life: Fine...: Something I learned awhile back: "Fine" stands for: "F" is for frustrated "I" is for insecure "N&quo...
Fine...
Something I learned awhile back:
"Fine" stands for:
"F" is for frustrated
"I" is for insecure
"N" is for neurotic
"E" is for exhausted
So I have learned that I don't answer people with the word "Fine" anymore when they ask me how I am. For the most part people don't really care how you feel so the polite customary way is to tell people you are fine.
After much thought I had heard someone say that when you are a person who lives with multiple health issues and if your feet hit the floor each morning and you thanked God for another day, is to say to people when they great you, that my response now is "I'm giving it a good ole try" and that is exactly what I am doing. Giving each day a good ole try.
Now for me to stay strong and positive is another question. I am just like any other people on this earth, that we all let stress take over our lives. But stress is not healthy for anyone. So what are we supposed to do? We can't always eliminate stress, but we can choose how to handle it. (Okay, I know I am being positive or optimistic) It truly is our choice as to how we handle stress and even our own lives.
I have a strong faith in God, and he gives me direction and hope. So what is the higher power that you truly believe in? Does it give you hope? So being a true Christian it's not always about attending church on Sunday's, it's about being a committed person of faith. I am not saying that I am always committed to my faith and yep, I am human so I do sin (probably most of the time), but I do repent and ask for forgiveness. But I am certainly not "Fine"... I am broken in so many ways.
I always question "why" do I have Gastroparesis, and Bipolar, and a severe digestive system disorder, an autoimmune disease, COPD, Fibromyalgia and so one? I guess because God thinks I am a bad ass and that I can handle it all. And for the most part I do, and yes there are days I don't. So does that make me just "fine"?
Nope, I am not just fine, but I do feel that my purpose since I have been diagnosed with a chronic debilitation terminal illness, is to be a good person, a good friend, a good neighbor, a good listener, a good motivator, and just simply be what I should be and that is giving each day a "good ole try".
So I have learned to smell the flowers, fresh cut grass, look at the sunrises, look at the sunsets, appreciate all that I have and just ride that roller coaster with my health and bipolar. Trust me that roller coaster has been busy here lately. As I am sure many people are the same way. So sit down, buckle up, and just give it a try.
Now I wish I could conjure up a cure for Gastroparesis, Bipolar or any other disorder/disease people have so that we could all live a harmonious life. But I am not God. So why does he allow people (like me and you) suffer physical, mental and emotional pain? I sure wish I knew why. So I have been taking a different look at it. God wants us to be compelled to understand that our physical being is fragile and yep, we do come to an expiration date. It's how we handle our lives as to when that expiration date comes. (mine will be sooner than later - and so many good people have expired sooner than what I have wanted them to)...So I do understand how we all can be numb, upset, angry and eventually accept what we are dealt. I think the cards for me are all stacked the wrong way.
I guess I am scared as to what will happen to me. I have worked all my life from the age of 14 on. I have been a dedicated, reliable employee. Now with my disabilities I am facing a early medical retirement. I think I will still develop a sense of purpose. I will need that purpose to continue to want to live on and fight. And so I have 3 purposes (my kids) and my husband, my step kids, my step grandson, and all of my many friends.
So I kind of thought, I give 2 ladies a ride to work almost every day, (it's on my way and they walk all the time)... I have made 2 new friends and I find that exciting. So what if after my retirement I start up a Uber service. That could give me a purpose still, make a little bit of cash and meet new people.
Are you really just "Fine"...? I know I am not. I am just giving each day a good ole try. Because my feet seem to keep hitting the floor every day after I wake up and so I guess even thru my pain I have to keep going because people rely on me in so many different ways.
So please keep giving your life a "good ole try" and just remember "Fine" is kind of a mind numbing answer to all of the passing question. So mix things up and startle a stranger, worker, friend or whomever with the words, giving it a good ole try.
Keep Smiling
Carla
"Fine" stands for:
"F" is for frustrated
"I" is for insecure
"N" is for neurotic
"E" is for exhausted
So I have learned that I don't answer people with the word "Fine" anymore when they ask me how I am. For the most part people don't really care how you feel so the polite customary way is to tell people you are fine.
After much thought I had heard someone say that when you are a person who lives with multiple health issues and if your feet hit the floor each morning and you thanked God for another day, is to say to people when they great you, that my response now is "I'm giving it a good ole try" and that is exactly what I am doing. Giving each day a good ole try.
Now for me to stay strong and positive is another question. I am just like any other people on this earth, that we all let stress take over our lives. But stress is not healthy for anyone. So what are we supposed to do? We can't always eliminate stress, but we can choose how to handle it. (Okay, I know I am being positive or optimistic) It truly is our choice as to how we handle stress and even our own lives.
I have a strong faith in God, and he gives me direction and hope. So what is the higher power that you truly believe in? Does it give you hope? So being a true Christian it's not always about attending church on Sunday's, it's about being a committed person of faith. I am not saying that I am always committed to my faith and yep, I am human so I do sin (probably most of the time), but I do repent and ask for forgiveness. But I am certainly not "Fine"... I am broken in so many ways.
I always question "why" do I have Gastroparesis, and Bipolar, and a severe digestive system disorder, an autoimmune disease, COPD, Fibromyalgia and so one? I guess because God thinks I am a bad ass and that I can handle it all. And for the most part I do, and yes there are days I don't. So does that make me just "fine"?
Nope, I am not just fine, but I do feel that my purpose since I have been diagnosed with a chronic debilitation terminal illness, is to be a good person, a good friend, a good neighbor, a good listener, a good motivator, and just simply be what I should be and that is giving each day a "good ole try".
So I have learned to smell the flowers, fresh cut grass, look at the sunrises, look at the sunsets, appreciate all that I have and just ride that roller coaster with my health and bipolar. Trust me that roller coaster has been busy here lately. As I am sure many people are the same way. So sit down, buckle up, and just give it a try.
Now I wish I could conjure up a cure for Gastroparesis, Bipolar or any other disorder/disease people have so that we could all live a harmonious life. But I am not God. So why does he allow people (like me and you) suffer physical, mental and emotional pain? I sure wish I knew why. So I have been taking a different look at it. God wants us to be compelled to understand that our physical being is fragile and yep, we do come to an expiration date. It's how we handle our lives as to when that expiration date comes. (mine will be sooner than later - and so many good people have expired sooner than what I have wanted them to)...So I do understand how we all can be numb, upset, angry and eventually accept what we are dealt. I think the cards for me are all stacked the wrong way.
I guess I am scared as to what will happen to me. I have worked all my life from the age of 14 on. I have been a dedicated, reliable employee. Now with my disabilities I am facing a early medical retirement. I think I will still develop a sense of purpose. I will need that purpose to continue to want to live on and fight. And so I have 3 purposes (my kids) and my husband, my step kids, my step grandson, and all of my many friends.
So I kind of thought, I give 2 ladies a ride to work almost every day, (it's on my way and they walk all the time)... I have made 2 new friends and I find that exciting. So what if after my retirement I start up a Uber service. That could give me a purpose still, make a little bit of cash and meet new people.
Are you really just "Fine"...? I know I am not. I am just giving each day a good ole try. Because my feet seem to keep hitting the floor every day after I wake up and so I guess even thru my pain I have to keep going because people rely on me in so many different ways.
So please keep giving your life a "good ole try" and just remember "Fine" is kind of a mind numbing answer to all of the passing question. So mix things up and startle a stranger, worker, friend or whomever with the words, giving it a good ole try.
Keep Smiling
Carla
No wrong turnings...
“There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk.”
Have you ever caught yourself going down the wrong turn and yet not know how to turn back?
I know I have done this so many different times. And I guess as this quote states there are no wrong turns. These are paths that we didn't know we were meant to walk down. We may not like the walk and we may be scared of what is at this end of the walk, but do we turn around and go back?
But what if you go back and face your past once again? I know I really don't want to face my past and relive it again, as long as I know how my future is all going to turn out (not so pleasant). But what if we could all turn around, go back and correct all of the regrets we have made in our lives? This is something I have been pondering each and every day, simply because my health has really gotten worse from some choices that I made, yep in my past, but if I could go back and make new choices, would my life today be any different?
Just as the "Doc" in "Back to the future" we can't cross paths with our former selves because it would change the time of our future. But let me tell you I really want to go back and make changes because I do really feel like if I could make some different choices in my past life then I wouldn't be sitting here now today with all of these regrets. I will never ever regret my 3 children, they are the absolute
best thing that God ever gave me, was to blessed to be their Momma. I don't know where I'd be without them. So I really don't want to go back so far as to not have my kiddos. I guess I don't really know where I'd want to go back to?
I know God has control of our former, present and future selves (that is if you believe). And I do know that I would not be where I am today without my ultimate faith in God. He is the reason I am still here today. Simply because I lost all sense of my life and I just wanted all of the mental and physical pain to stop and so God saved me from my suicide attempt. So I wonder to myself is this what God saved me for? To live my life in a miserable state and go forward down a different path and no turning back? So of course my human desire is to NOT live such a miserable existence. And trust me there are so many times I really wish God would just take me to heaven. But I know my kids and family would be so hurt and really miss me.
So I guess this path that I am supposed to walk down is way different than the path I would have chosen for myself. I struggle and fight myself constantly and I truly hate this point in my life as it is.
So why as human's do we hate our current state of life if this is truly what God chose for us? Because just that, we are human and that is what we do, fight the current path that we are supposed to walk down. So I guess their are no wrong turns, just a path we didn't know we were supposed to walk down.
Do you have any regrets? Then if so don't look back and take the wrong turn, try to take a path we didn't know we were supposed to follow. Because maybe, just maybe, this path just may be the right turn.
Keep Smiling
Carla
Have you ever caught yourself going down the wrong turn and yet not know how to turn back?
I know I have done this so many different times. And I guess as this quote states there are no wrong turns. These are paths that we didn't know we were meant to walk down. We may not like the walk and we may be scared of what is at this end of the walk, but do we turn around and go back?
But what if you go back and face your past once again? I know I really don't want to face my past and relive it again, as long as I know how my future is all going to turn out (not so pleasant). But what if we could all turn around, go back and correct all of the regrets we have made in our lives? This is something I have been pondering each and every day, simply because my health has really gotten worse from some choices that I made, yep in my past, but if I could go back and make new choices, would my life today be any different?
Just as the "Doc" in "Back to the future" we can't cross paths with our former selves because it would change the time of our future. But let me tell you I really want to go back and make changes because I do really feel like if I could make some different choices in my past life then I wouldn't be sitting here now today with all of these regrets. I will never ever regret my 3 children, they are the absolute
best thing that God ever gave me, was to blessed to be their Momma. I don't know where I'd be without them. So I really don't want to go back so far as to not have my kiddos. I guess I don't really know where I'd want to go back to?
I know God has control of our former, present and future selves (that is if you believe). And I do know that I would not be where I am today without my ultimate faith in God. He is the reason I am still here today. Simply because I lost all sense of my life and I just wanted all of the mental and physical pain to stop and so God saved me from my suicide attempt. So I wonder to myself is this what God saved me for? To live my life in a miserable state and go forward down a different path and no turning back? So of course my human desire is to NOT live such a miserable existence. And trust me there are so many times I really wish God would just take me to heaven. But I know my kids and family would be so hurt and really miss me.
So I guess this path that I am supposed to walk down is way different than the path I would have chosen for myself. I struggle and fight myself constantly and I truly hate this point in my life as it is.
So why as human's do we hate our current state of life if this is truly what God chose for us? Because just that, we are human and that is what we do, fight the current path that we are supposed to walk down. So I guess their are no wrong turns, just a path we didn't know we were supposed to walk down.
Do you have any regrets? Then if so don't look back and take the wrong turn, try to take a path we didn't know we were supposed to follow. Because maybe, just maybe, this path just may be the right turn.
Keep Smiling
Carla
Monday, February 8, 2016
Life: Confidently...
Life: Confidently...: "We all walk confidently knowing that with every ending something new begins!" What if we all walked confidently knowing that e...
Confidently...
"We all walk confidently knowing that with every ending something new begins!"
What if we all walked confidently knowing that every foot step we make on this earth does mean something? We were not put her to just exist.
Although sometimes I'd like to climb into a hole and hide when I really don't feel good at all. But then I always somehow pull my big girl panties on and make my way to work. Simply because it gives me purpose. (however I have initiated filing for a early medical retirement from work) not life though.
I posted that I was tired of going thru all of these feedings tubes (J/G tube) and I go thru these surgery replacements awake but loopy. Ok after 29 surgeries one does get tired. If these tubes were actually going to save my life and any of these other surgeries were going to make my life easier, better etc. I would still have them. But I sat back and soul searched and trying to decide what is "best" for me. And with much thought, I decided to just let this current tube come out once it clogs or whatever and I am not going to do the feeds anymore. (I mean why, I still get sick and vomit whether I am on it or not)... I know someone out here it going to poo poo me and that is ok. We all have our own ideas, our own desires and our own life to live. But have you stopped to realize that our quality of life is miserable.
So how do we stay confident during all of this? We have to realize that their is no "ending", because their is always something new that begins when we decide to take on a different approach to life. Confidence comes from within yourself. I know our health can place us all on a roller coaster ride. But I decided to sit back and throw my arms in the air, be a confident person, and ride that coaster downhill. Because the ride is thrilling.
A positive approach is tough sometimes when we find ourselves (no matter) what our chronic illnesses are, can be hard. But when you sit in bed or in a chair and feel "self pity" then you won't make it in this cold cruel world.
I have been playing the victim card for along time, and last weekend I sat in a recliner at my sister in laws and listened to every one snore and I went multiple times to the toilet to leave my lunch and dinner. And I decided then that you know, God made me this way, why am I fighting it? Why am I not walking confidently in my chronic illness? Because I've been allowing myself to be a victim. Now don't get me wrong, being a victim of these horrible chronic illnesses is very normal. I have went thru so many stages in my life when I was given the ultimate diagnosis of "chronic debilitating digestive terminal illness"...
So I became numb, angry, sad and now acceptance. (and very self protective). And that is ok.
I found myself sitting in the dark thinking to myself "why me?" How could God do this to me and possibly take me away from my kids. But then he touched my heart and told me "sister they are adults now" and that I have instilled so many great qualities in them and that I needed to cut the umbilical cord. Trust me that was so very extremely hard and therefore I did it. I have released them to be the adults they chose to be. I do know that my kids are extremely close to me and will never leave my side. And for that I am extremely blessed that God chose me to be their Mom.
Why do we have to walk confidently knowing that every ending something new begins? Why don't we begin to do something new? Have you made a bucket list? I have (and of course I have re-written it). So maybe riding a Unicorn could be out of reality for me. So I guess riding a horse again is more attainable. But why squelch our dreams. Maybe we could bye a Unicorn at Wal-Mart cause you can buy most everything there. (Oh remember I hate Wal-Mart = and I did have another horrible run in with that place a few weeks back and I swear on my last breath I will never ever go there again)...
So what do we all do each and every day? We attempt to walk confidently in our walk here on earth and know that with every ending something new begins. This is the cycle of life. I hope I can leave a legacy worth talking about and remembering because I sure don't want to bring myself down to earth with Angel Wings and attack some people with confidence so they stop thinking of themselves as victims. Because we aren't victims we are survivors from what ever life throws at us...
Keep Smiling
Carla
What if we all walked confidently knowing that every foot step we make on this earth does mean something? We were not put her to just exist.
Although sometimes I'd like to climb into a hole and hide when I really don't feel good at all. But then I always somehow pull my big girl panties on and make my way to work. Simply because it gives me purpose. (however I have initiated filing for a early medical retirement from work) not life though.
I posted that I was tired of going thru all of these feedings tubes (J/G tube) and I go thru these surgery replacements awake but loopy. Ok after 29 surgeries one does get tired. If these tubes were actually going to save my life and any of these other surgeries were going to make my life easier, better etc. I would still have them. But I sat back and soul searched and trying to decide what is "best" for me. And with much thought, I decided to just let this current tube come out once it clogs or whatever and I am not going to do the feeds anymore. (I mean why, I still get sick and vomit whether I am on it or not)... I know someone out here it going to poo poo me and that is ok. We all have our own ideas, our own desires and our own life to live. But have you stopped to realize that our quality of life is miserable.
So how do we stay confident during all of this? We have to realize that their is no "ending", because their is always something new that begins when we decide to take on a different approach to life. Confidence comes from within yourself. I know our health can place us all on a roller coaster ride. But I decided to sit back and throw my arms in the air, be a confident person, and ride that coaster downhill. Because the ride is thrilling.
A positive approach is tough sometimes when we find ourselves (no matter) what our chronic illnesses are, can be hard. But when you sit in bed or in a chair and feel "self pity" then you won't make it in this cold cruel world.
I have been playing the victim card for along time, and last weekend I sat in a recliner at my sister in laws and listened to every one snore and I went multiple times to the toilet to leave my lunch and dinner. And I decided then that you know, God made me this way, why am I fighting it? Why am I not walking confidently in my chronic illness? Because I've been allowing myself to be a victim. Now don't get me wrong, being a victim of these horrible chronic illnesses is very normal. I have went thru so many stages in my life when I was given the ultimate diagnosis of "chronic debilitating digestive terminal illness"...
So I became numb, angry, sad and now acceptance. (and very self protective). And that is ok.
I found myself sitting in the dark thinking to myself "why me?" How could God do this to me and possibly take me away from my kids. But then he touched my heart and told me "sister they are adults now" and that I have instilled so many great qualities in them and that I needed to cut the umbilical cord. Trust me that was so very extremely hard and therefore I did it. I have released them to be the adults they chose to be. I do know that my kids are extremely close to me and will never leave my side. And for that I am extremely blessed that God chose me to be their Mom.
Why do we have to walk confidently knowing that every ending something new begins? Why don't we begin to do something new? Have you made a bucket list? I have (and of course I have re-written it). So maybe riding a Unicorn could be out of reality for me. So I guess riding a horse again is more attainable. But why squelch our dreams. Maybe we could bye a Unicorn at Wal-Mart cause you can buy most everything there. (Oh remember I hate Wal-Mart = and I did have another horrible run in with that place a few weeks back and I swear on my last breath I will never ever go there again)...
So what do we all do each and every day? We attempt to walk confidently in our walk here on earth and know that with every ending something new begins. This is the cycle of life. I hope I can leave a legacy worth talking about and remembering because I sure don't want to bring myself down to earth with Angel Wings and attack some people with confidence so they stop thinking of themselves as victims. Because we aren't victims we are survivors from what ever life throws at us...
Keep Smiling
Carla
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