With my 3 kids having birthdays right now, this quote really hits home to me... My baby turned 20 on April 4th and my twins turn 22 tomorrow May 2nd... I sit back and think wow where did the time go, I can remember very vividly their births and them growing up and it seems like a life time ago yet it seems like just yesterday.
Being a mother/father really does open up your heart more and they hold a very special place in my heart and the love for you child is endless.
I sometimes sit back and remember sitting and holding my premie twins when they came home and I'd rock them and hold them and sing to them. And singing to my kids every night when they went to bed. Now that they are grown up and living on their own I don't get to do that anymore, and sometimes it saddens me. I would almost love to go back to when they were little, but that was so long ago.
My children unfortunately have had to grow up fast due to my divorce from their Dad, and the me being their soul care taker. Life was hard for us for several years financially, physically, mentally and spiritually. I have struggled every since 2008 and boy does that place alot of stress on a person.
I hate the fact that I have a very debilitating disease and that my life span is now shortened. Between having Gastroparesis, Fibromyalgia, COPD, J/G feeding tube and I have had numerous surgeries and hospital stays. My kids have really had to learn that their Mom is very sick and I know it worries them a lot. And I don't want to ever leave this earth and leave them. I know my kids will be extremely upset when I do pass on and go to heaven with my Daddy. And when you think about it, it is a very painful thought.
Life can be a positive place if we all learn to pay it forward. So since I am ill with chronic illnesses it makes me look at life differently. Possibly next year my daughter Colleen may be getting married and I want to be here to help her plan, shop for her dress, etc. I can not image being gone and not being there for her special day.
So that is why I keep fighting my illness and fighting to stay here on earth with them and my husband. Life is to short and to not live and hold people you care so deeply for in a special place in your heart is not an option. Once a parent always a parent (and they don't come with an instruction manual) you just have to strive to do the best you can as a parent and hope you do things the right way. And lord knows I have made alot of decisions in my life and all of them have not been easy or the right way and I had to learn from the consequences. Just as they are now doing since they are 22, 22, and 20.
So cherish your children and keep them locked in that special place in your heart. Simply because it can all be taken away from you in a heartbeat, so always tell them you love them every day.
I praise God for blessing me with 3 great kids, a wonderful second husband and his 5 kids.
Keep Smiling
Carla
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