Friday, April 22, 2016
Life: Nobody said it is easy...
Life: Nobody said it is easy...: "Nobody ever said it was going to be so easy" Ok, so what does everybody mean when it is stated that nothing was ever going to b...
Nobody said it is easy...
"Nobody ever said it was going to be so easy"
Ok, so what does everybody mean when it is stated that nothing was ever going to be easy?
Does that mean life?
I hate to think that life is always hard. I don't think anyone would want life to be so hard all the time. I do believe that most of us would like to at least be able to enjoy the things that we want. No matter what we consider is our favorite things, we at least wish to be able to do some of our wishes.
I know when you are young and healthy you look at life so differently. But once you get to be older and more wiser you look at like differently also.
But what is you become chronically ill? So what kind of life are you going to be living? No one ever wishes to be a burden, or to be handicapped, mentally ill, physically ill or what ever the chronic illness we are dealt in life. But just as stated about nothing in life is every easy. No matter what anyone's circumstances are life is never easy in different stages of our own individual lives.
But one thing is for sure, we never want to become chronically ill. That is when our mind set becomes different. A chronically ill person spends a lot of their time wishing they were healthy again. But instead we spend most of our times in the ER, in the hospitals, going to doctors, having surgeries, seeing counselors, finding ourselves fighting to survive whatever hand we are dealt. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.
Our lives are turned up side down. We either have to learn to accept our lives being torn by a serious chronic illness, or we fight it off, or we just keep telling ourselves that we are going to get better if we just do this, or that or ask for a better healthier life. Then the reality starts to set in. We suddenly look in the mirror and what we see back is a chronically ill person. Sometimes we don't even recognize who it is that is looking back yourself. You begin to question "who am I"? "what did I go to deserve this"? Maybe if I had done things differently when I was young and then I wouldn't be sick. However we know that no matter what we did in our younger years of life it doesn't always impact us as to how our lives will be when we get older and we are diagnosed with a illness that makes your heart beat faster, you break out in a sweat and you just simply become numb.
When I was told that I had become chronically ill with a terminal outlook, I was in such shock that I had became numb. My life had came to an end in my own mind. And yes I looked in the mirror and saw a differently face looking back at me. I just couldn't understand yep that question once again "why me"?
So I have started to look for a purpose in my life. Even tho my life now consists of medicines, doctor and after doctor, hospital stays after another hospital stay, nausea and vomiting, and more vomiting and not being able to eat. Living with a feeding tube day in and day out. Feeding myself thru this feeding tube for what ever the rest of my life going to be. Surgery after surgery to replace my tube and put in a port because I had been stuck a kazillion times all of my life. I start to hate myself. And life had become a hard pill to swallow and had left a bitter taste in your mouth.
So now I have had to change my way of life. My families way of life and just wondering when the day will come that my family will be sitting with me as I take my last breath and knowing to myself that I caused all of their pain, and there is nothing I can do to make this pain in their lives go away.
Yes "nobody ever said it was going to be easy", we just never stop to think what in our lives was ever going to be easy. I look at myself in the mirror and now a different set of eyes look back at me and those eyes have pain, sorrow, hurt, denial, anger and yet will. The will to keep living for our spouses, significant others, our children our families and we keep fighting. Not always our will but their will. Yep we fight and someday's we fight to just tell our families each day that we hit our feet on the floor every morning that we love them. Because yep, one day we won't be able to.
"Nobody ever said it was going to be easy"
Keep Smiling
Carla
Ok, so what does everybody mean when it is stated that nothing was ever going to be easy?
Does that mean life?
I hate to think that life is always hard. I don't think anyone would want life to be so hard all the time. I do believe that most of us would like to at least be able to enjoy the things that we want. No matter what we consider is our favorite things, we at least wish to be able to do some of our wishes.
I know when you are young and healthy you look at life so differently. But once you get to be older and more wiser you look at like differently also.
But what is you become chronically ill? So what kind of life are you going to be living? No one ever wishes to be a burden, or to be handicapped, mentally ill, physically ill or what ever the chronic illness we are dealt in life. But just as stated about nothing in life is every easy. No matter what anyone's circumstances are life is never easy in different stages of our own individual lives.
But one thing is for sure, we never want to become chronically ill. That is when our mind set becomes different. A chronically ill person spends a lot of their time wishing they were healthy again. But instead we spend most of our times in the ER, in the hospitals, going to doctors, having surgeries, seeing counselors, finding ourselves fighting to survive whatever hand we are dealt. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.
Our lives are turned up side down. We either have to learn to accept our lives being torn by a serious chronic illness, or we fight it off, or we just keep telling ourselves that we are going to get better if we just do this, or that or ask for a better healthier life. Then the reality starts to set in. We suddenly look in the mirror and what we see back is a chronically ill person. Sometimes we don't even recognize who it is that is looking back yourself. You begin to question "who am I"? "what did I go to deserve this"? Maybe if I had done things differently when I was young and then I wouldn't be sick. However we know that no matter what we did in our younger years of life it doesn't always impact us as to how our lives will be when we get older and we are diagnosed with a illness that makes your heart beat faster, you break out in a sweat and you just simply become numb.
When I was told that I had become chronically ill with a terminal outlook, I was in such shock that I had became numb. My life had came to an end in my own mind. And yes I looked in the mirror and saw a differently face looking back at me. I just couldn't understand yep that question once again "why me"?
So I have started to look for a purpose in my life. Even tho my life now consists of medicines, doctor and after doctor, hospital stays after another hospital stay, nausea and vomiting, and more vomiting and not being able to eat. Living with a feeding tube day in and day out. Feeding myself thru this feeding tube for what ever the rest of my life going to be. Surgery after surgery to replace my tube and put in a port because I had been stuck a kazillion times all of my life. I start to hate myself. And life had become a hard pill to swallow and had left a bitter taste in your mouth.
So now I have had to change my way of life. My families way of life and just wondering when the day will come that my family will be sitting with me as I take my last breath and knowing to myself that I caused all of their pain, and there is nothing I can do to make this pain in their lives go away.
Yes "nobody ever said it was going to be easy", we just never stop to think what in our lives was ever going to be easy. I look at myself in the mirror and now a different set of eyes look back at me and those eyes have pain, sorrow, hurt, denial, anger and yet will. The will to keep living for our spouses, significant others, our children our families and we keep fighting. Not always our will but their will. Yep we fight and someday's we fight to just tell our families each day that we hit our feet on the floor every morning that we love them. Because yep, one day we won't be able to.
"Nobody ever said it was going to be easy"
Keep Smiling
Carla
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