2016 Reflection to a new dawn of 2017...
As I sit and reflect on this past year, I have come to learn that life can give you the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the squeezes of lemons to lemonade, to love and to giving up, to learning to crying and so forth. I know all of us can completely relate to these different and many more reflections. Everyone has personal issues and life statuses as to how we look at the outgoing 2016 and the incoming 2017.
Most people make new years resolutions, most of which are never achieved. Oh we all try to make them work out, we go to the gym more, we try to eat better, for me I try to eat less, try to just do whatever it means to make our own lives in this big world a better place.
I am not like everyone else, I don't make any new years resolutions simply because I most likely won't promise to do any of them, and my list would be short. I would just love to wake up some day and be healthier. Wouldn't that be what most of us want? Healthy? For myself and many other chronically ill people we wish for so many resolutions to come true. I look at these things as an unreachable feat. That doesn't mean I give up. Nope, never give up, just keep fighting.
What is your biggest resolution or do you even make one like me?
If you believe in God or the divine power I do think God looks to each of us to take our new years resolution and apply it to our daily lives in small doses. We can't just dive in and give it our all because by a month of so we throw the towel in. So small doses. Kind of like baby steps. Think of one good resolution that has meaning to it and go forth. Don't try to make yourself push for your own dreams and hopes and not spread these wishes to others in need. Why? Because we need to make this a better world to live in. Oh I know, I sound like some kind of Woodstock lover of all the world and wish to make peace in the world. Well wouldn't that be nice, World Peace.
We will be facing a new 2017 in so many ways. Some could be good and of course some could be not so good. I like to sit back and drink a hot tea and reflect on my past and what was good and what has been bad. And of course the bad things seem so large. I know however that God has carried myself thru these rough times or I wouldn't be sitting her reflecting at this moment. My 2015 was hard on me since I lost so many people in my life that meant so much to me and I attempted suicide and then 2016 has brought so many rough patches and each 4th Friday I lay on a cold slab in the OR and have my tube changed out. These are not times that I relish, but I keep doing so for everyone who loves me, not for myself, but for them. If I had one wish, I'd pull it out and just let God sustain me. But...
I know my problems seem little compared to so many others and but they all are big to ourselves. Everyone of us have problems. Some people like to harp about them and can never see the glass half full. Mine hasn't been half full for a while. I just keep holding it up waiting to get it filled up with a margarita.
My 2016 brought me many good things, one of my babies got married, my other 2 babies have great significant others in their lives and this warms my heart. Gives me hope, hope in life that God is being the one who is carrying them thru even my darkest days. So that is why I don't attempt suicide again. I want to see much more. Like the sunsets and sunrises on a beach, sand in my toes and a margarita in my hand, not much for dreams. And then when I gain my Angel Wings I just want to soar over all of the earth and see the good in each and everyone, because there is no one dictator there is just people, people whom have hopes and dreams.
So don't stop dreaming and reaching for your hopes in 2017.
Keep Smiling
Carla
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Life: Make ourselves miserable or happy...
Life: Make ourselves miserable or happy...: "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The same amount of work is the same!" The amount of work is tak...
Make ourselves miserable or happy...
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The same amount of work is the same!"
The amount of work is takes to be miserable doesn't always come by choice. Sometimes we are miserable no matter what our health throws at us. We can however choose to be happy. Being happy is choosing to making the most out of our lives even though we live a miserable existence. (That is for chronically ill individuals)
Some days it is so hard for people to even get out of bed, I have pushed myself each day to allow my feet to hit the floor and I thank God that he is giving me another day. Of course my day could swing either way. But I do know I live a miserable existence, and I go through out the day living a miserable life. Being constantly nauseated, vomiting and dealing with a feeding tube and all of the doctor, ER and hospitals visits can really play hard on our moods. I know I have been nothing but nice at times, but for most of the time I am a giving, caring, loving lady. (or so I have been told)...
I just wonder though when will I ever smile again. Yes I know it takes the same amount of muscles to smile as it does to frown. I do realize that I am blessed. I am also challenged each day. So do we make ourselves miserable or happy? I know I am still working on being a happy person. I go through the cycles that people with chronic illness do and it seems like I keep falling into the "numb" phase most of the time.
I do ask God very frequently as to what his purpose is for me. I am pretty sure I know what it is.
Being happy, is that really a choice, or does it just come easy to people. People certainly are not happy this time of season, with all the crazy shoppers (they become evil when they want some item that a loved one feels they desperately need), the feeling of not being able to give, the unhappiness, feeling sorry for the people who seem to forget what Christmas is about. Why do you think "Christ" is part of the name.
People sit around a table of great food and wine and enjoy each others family time and they open presents. But what about the less fortunate. People feel like they are doing good by putting money in the red kettles this time of year (and don't get me wrong that is a wonderful thing to do) but what about helping the less fortunate? Really and honestly giving to those who have either nothing or life has been hard for them. Does this make one happy? To help those who are miserable. But homeless or people at the basement of their lives are not always miserable they have became happy with what little they have. Possessions isn't always our purpose, you can't take it with you.
We all can't make the miserable existence individuals happy but we can reach out to those at the times when they need it most, simply because you could find yourself in their shoes. So be humble.
Of course this isn't just about making ourselves miserable or happy. You can be miserable and yet be happy. It just takes someone who is strong enough to choose to be happy during their times of misery. The amount of work is the same. Being happy isn't always work.
Step into the shoes of a chronically ill individual and walk in those shoes for a week. Swapping shoes would be great also. Maybe just maybe some people would understand what kind of life a chronically ill person's life is all about and the chronically ill actually gets a week of little to no misery from their illness.
What does this quote mean to you:
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same".
Giving your best, living in awe of life, appreciate the things you do have, appreciate the people in your life, love unconditionally and just live your life as it was given to you by Christ. Is that too much to ask for. I know I'd like to go back and start my life all over again. (of course knowing everything I know now) and I know we all say the same thing. So I guess since we can't do that, I will just await for my homecoming to heaven and strive to be happy even through my miserable existence. Now to get that "numb" feeling to go away and accept what is.
And by the way, I don't put up a tree anymore, simply because that is not what Christmas is all about. Family is what it's all about and the birth of our Savior.
Much Love,
Carla
The amount of work is takes to be miserable doesn't always come by choice. Sometimes we are miserable no matter what our health throws at us. We can however choose to be happy. Being happy is choosing to making the most out of our lives even though we live a miserable existence. (That is for chronically ill individuals)
Some days it is so hard for people to even get out of bed, I have pushed myself each day to allow my feet to hit the floor and I thank God that he is giving me another day. Of course my day could swing either way. But I do know I live a miserable existence, and I go through out the day living a miserable life. Being constantly nauseated, vomiting and dealing with a feeding tube and all of the doctor, ER and hospitals visits can really play hard on our moods. I know I have been nothing but nice at times, but for most of the time I am a giving, caring, loving lady. (or so I have been told)...
I just wonder though when will I ever smile again. Yes I know it takes the same amount of muscles to smile as it does to frown. I do realize that I am blessed. I am also challenged each day. So do we make ourselves miserable or happy? I know I am still working on being a happy person. I go through the cycles that people with chronic illness do and it seems like I keep falling into the "numb" phase most of the time.
I do ask God very frequently as to what his purpose is for me. I am pretty sure I know what it is.
Being happy, is that really a choice, or does it just come easy to people. People certainly are not happy this time of season, with all the crazy shoppers (they become evil when they want some item that a loved one feels they desperately need), the feeling of not being able to give, the unhappiness, feeling sorry for the people who seem to forget what Christmas is about. Why do you think "Christ" is part of the name.
People sit around a table of great food and wine and enjoy each others family time and they open presents. But what about the less fortunate. People feel like they are doing good by putting money in the red kettles this time of year (and don't get me wrong that is a wonderful thing to do) but what about helping the less fortunate? Really and honestly giving to those who have either nothing or life has been hard for them. Does this make one happy? To help those who are miserable. But homeless or people at the basement of their lives are not always miserable they have became happy with what little they have. Possessions isn't always our purpose, you can't take it with you.
We all can't make the miserable existence individuals happy but we can reach out to those at the times when they need it most, simply because you could find yourself in their shoes. So be humble.
Of course this isn't just about making ourselves miserable or happy. You can be miserable and yet be happy. It just takes someone who is strong enough to choose to be happy during their times of misery. The amount of work is the same. Being happy isn't always work.
Step into the shoes of a chronically ill individual and walk in those shoes for a week. Swapping shoes would be great also. Maybe just maybe some people would understand what kind of life a chronically ill person's life is all about and the chronically ill actually gets a week of little to no misery from their illness.
What does this quote mean to you:
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same".
Giving your best, living in awe of life, appreciate the things you do have, appreciate the people in your life, love unconditionally and just live your life as it was given to you by Christ. Is that too much to ask for. I know I'd like to go back and start my life all over again. (of course knowing everything I know now) and I know we all say the same thing. So I guess since we can't do that, I will just await for my homecoming to heaven and strive to be happy even through my miserable existence. Now to get that "numb" feeling to go away and accept what is.
And by the way, I don't put up a tree anymore, simply because that is not what Christmas is all about. Family is what it's all about and the birth of our Savior.
Much Love,
Carla
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