Accept what is...

"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be..."




I know I have a lot of problems with this statement. I just can't seem to let go of what I used to have. I don't know why, I guess I feel like it was the happy times in my life. My first husband and I living the American dream, raising our three kids and being with friends and of course God in the middle.


I guess God wasn't enough, just as all men and women do you have a mid life crisis and instead of buying a sports car, my first husband thought he should cheat. Well lets just say after 2 years of holding onto what I thought was going to be a good marriage if he dropped his mistress that we could continue on. Guess what I got divorced. My three kids and I had to start all over in life. I worked my butt off to give them all a good home, they finished high school and faced a lot of diversity but yet have conquered it and have become great kids. Don't get me wrong life is such a challenge. For us to accept what is now, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be. Is so very hard for me.


I have always had to be the bad ass in my family from the moment I was born up until now. Boy am I tired of being the bad ass. I'm not saying I am mean, I am just like my Daddy was, a soft hearted, warm, caring, loving, loyal yet independent woman. So why do I keep going on? My faith in what will be... Acceptance is not easy either. Who of us can raise our hands and honestly say they are able accept what is? I know I can't. I don't want to accept the way my life is right now. Even though I try to keep God revolving around me and in my world, he keeps throwing curve balls at me. I realize that I am most certainly NOT perfect and even though I keep revolving I have turned into a depressed pile of "what if". What if I done this or that right? Would I be here right now? What if I had done this or that right? Would I be facing my health and finances in bad shape right now? Let go and Let God.
But man my shoulders are tired of carrying these heavy burdens.


"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be"


A profound statement. A statement many of us can relate to in so many different ways. All I ask is to be given a break. I am more than certain I have passed all the tests God has thrown at me or that the devil keeps dragging me down what ever path and I have to keep clawing and raising my hand up to God to survive. Survival? That used to be my theme song by Donna Summer, "I will survive"!!!


Yes, I will survive. Not the way I want to though. I guess we can't choose our survival, then their would be no faith in what will be.


I do question, why does God make our bodies fail us? Is it to give us even more strength to fight for or is it to tear us down by the devil. I like to think that God only gives us one body and we should respect it and 'accept what is'. There is that word again Accept.


Do we have to just sit and accept what is? No we can work hard to change the acceptance and then let go of what is so we can face the new what will be. I'd like to think my new what will be is not living a miserable existence for ever. I really hate this miserable existence that my life has me living now. That is the evil of being chronically ill. Do we have to sit and just accept? I don't like to think so. I would love to let it all go, so faith will let lead me to what will be. Human nature doesn't like to let go or even accept because it scares us all. What will faith do for us in what will be?


We can't go "back to the future" like Doc and Marty. If so I know we would all change something in our lives but then their comes the what will be for our future. If we alter our past then our future may not be what our faith intends it to be. But boy I would love to go back and change so much stuff and then maybe, maybe my life now I could accept. I just refuse to accept that I am chronically sick and I can't seem to let it go as to what is my life now. I want to be healthy again. I want to be able to fight for my life, I want to be able to do so many things now that I could never do before. As little as eat and not get sick.


"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be"


hmmmmm, what will be?


Keep Smiling
Carla