Everyday is a hustle...

"Everyday is a hustle. Do I get tired? Yes Do I give up? No"


I do believe that this quote is for anyone to live by. We all face the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Life just seems to throw curves and turns each and every minute of our lives towards us and it all depends on our outlook at to how we survive. Do we get tired? Oh yeah Do we give up? No


I am tired every minute of my life, no matter how much I sleep. But that is due to all of my silent chronic illnesses. But I am not going to give up the fight. I push myself each day to work full time as long as I can. (As I pray that my early medical retirement will come through sooner than later). I don't know how I keep working full time, I believe it is sheer grit, willpower and some moxie in there. Each day of my life consists of feeding tube feeds, working away from home and then going home to walk my little dog, Maggie Mae, that is my quiet time with myself and an enjoyment she and I enjoy, and then I die (Well not really die, but physically pass out).


I do realize we all have different difficulties that we all deal with daily in our lives. But gosh it does appear on the outside that some people have it all together. The media paints the good and the bad and as I sit back and take it all in, I realize that sometimes I do have it better, even tho I am chronically ill on a feeding tube, there is always someone out there worse than me. And then the good that comes out from stories that makes your heart skip a beat knowing that their are good people still among the hustle and bustle.


I guess the perfect world would be love thy neighbor as we would wish to be loved ourselves. Yep, that is a perfect world. But we are given trials and tests to see if our faith waivers or if we stand up and not give up. I had given up on the world and was so extremely tired of my horrible health, the loss of my parents and one of my best friends that I didn't even think about it, I just attempted suicide. So I regret it everyday?  Yes. Now as I sit back and reflect on my choices back then, I was misguided by not being faithful to myself. I lost sight of giving up. Do I want to give up now? NO


Trust me my depression is a true fight I deal with daily. I struggle praying cause I can't seem to keep my mind focused. So I talk to God constantly daily and he knows what is in my heart and soul. Thank goodness. But I am sure he smacks me upside my head sometimes just knowing every little thing about me. So I guess that is where my loss of words come from. But Bipolar is a real disease that many people seem to shrug off as "Oh you just need to get yourself together and live life". Everyday is a hustle and bustle. So anyone who doesn't have Bipolar stresses.


Do I get tired?  Yes. Tired of being chronically sick all the time, tired of dealing with all the aspects of my feeding tube, not being able to eat anything by mouth (and if I do I regret it), fight to get ready for work, try to keep up with some light duty chores and just simply being alive. That is my fight. Yes I am humble.


Humble that God gives me a new day each time my feet hit the floor every morning. That means he wants me to keep up with the hustle and bustle each day. I question him all the time. Most people do question all the time why we face the hustle and bustle. Their are people who thrive at it. Hey my thoughts are "go for it". I used to live that way when I was younger and raising my 3 kiddos. Life was a challenge but I loved every minute of it. But I was healthy.


As the media is streaming everywhere that Brangelina is getting a divorce. Who really cares? Raise your hand!!!! Mine isn't. Do I feel bad for them? Yes. As a divorce' I can feel their pain and having it blow up in the media makes it even worse. I am sure they both wish the hustle and bustle of their individual lives where to be left to themselves. I am sure they are tired of it all. But I am sure they will both keep fighting for their kids.


The hustle and bustle. What does that mean to you? It can have so many meanings to so many people across the world. What if the world just stopped and held hands in unity to fight against whatever their demons are. The world could be a better place. Maybe?


Wishing that I was not chronically ill is something I hold my hands together and think why me? And I know most people who are chronically ill do the same thing. We will never get that answer until we pass away. However we do need to focus on what we can do to help others? It may just be a kind word, a hand written letter (not just a text or email), a phone call, any act of kindness. Because that is all we ask for.


Everyday is a hustle and bustle. Do I get tired? Yes. Do I give up? No.


What about you? Really take stock in your own life and decide what your answers would be to those two easy questions.


We do get tired and but we don't give up. Or at least most of us. Reach out, you never know, you may just save a life when you do. Because of the hustle and bustle and people being tired.


Keep Smiling
Carla