I never compare myself to others. We all have certain things that just simply doesn't help.
My insides are all "jacked up", according to my doctor, but by looking at me no one can really tell I have some horrible chronic illnesses because of good makeup, etc.
My question has always been "why me?"
But no one knows that answer, except for God. There for awhile, I kind of thought that I am still living is to help my husband and his family out, by stopping all the hatred and not talking. But I just don't know if that is why I am still here. I do believe that God has me still here to be here for my 3 kids. I can't even begin to imagine life without them and I will never give up on them.
Do I look at others and try to compare "NOPE".... I stopped worrying about what others think of me for the last 6 -7 years. I think that attitude has came when I got divorced and got really sick.
So "Coping" with chronic illnesses is a struggle daily for me. Since my insides are all jacked up, I am constantly sick (nausea, vomiting, diarreha, and pain). So some days it is extremely hard on me physically since I still have to work because I carry the health insurance on all of my kids and husband. And Lord knows we can't go without health insurance.
So therefore, since I still work and my husband is giving his all and trying to work, we don't qualify for any kind of assistance, and we are drowing in major medical debt and other debt. This has both of us upset and depressed.
I'm just simply am "Exhausted" and really don't know how much more I can take.
So I just tell myself to Keep Smiling
Carla
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