How tall are you?

“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?”


Everytime I go to the doctor (whether it is my GI, COPD, Surgeon, Pshychiatrist, etc etc) I am always asked "how tall are you?"

Sometimes I would love to just respond, "5'6 and stacked full of shit!!!"

But then I don't think the nurses would understand that kind of sense of humor.

I don't know about all of you, but having a good sense of humor does help us "Chronic Illness" warriors make it daily throughout our lives. If we didn't have some kinds of sense of humor "how would we make it thru?"

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes a good sense of humor doesn't fix it all, and there are soo many times I just sit back and look at my life, others lives and look up to GOD and ask "Why?" and all I get back in reply from God is "I've got this, you go ahead and laugh and cry"

So if God does have our lives in his hands then "Why" does he make some of us suffer from a Chronic Illness? The only answer I have been able to come up with is that it seems to make us all a stronger person. But I can certainly tell you this much, I am tired of being that stronger person.

As I sat on my front room floor yesterday afternoon, and sobbed because I couldn't find a anniversary gift that I had bought for my wonderful husband because plain and simply I have completely LOST my Mind. I decided then and there that I AM NOT GOD, so therefore GOD must have some kind of plan for me, but boy do I NOT LIKE IT.... but I guess we don't have to like the plans that God has set out for us. Just like the 12 disciples that didn't like the plans Jesus had set out for them.

So now that I have attempted "suicide", yeppers, I just said it. I will no longer be able to have pain meds, so guess now that makes me a chronic illness warrior who will have to feel every little ounce of pain that goes along with the illnesses that I now face. So I have currently been going thru, GP, Fibro, COPD, Bipolar, Allergies, chronic back pain, neck pain, vomiting, etc etc without any kinds of help from pain meds, so all I get to take now is Ibuprofen and that does NOT help me in the least.

So why and how do we all keep going, us "chronic illness" warriors, I guess my answer is because we have peoples in our lives that need us. I have a wonderful husband, kids, grandkids, bothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and on going and so on and so on that need me. So I suppose like the rest of all of us I will work on sticking it out here on this ever so painful earth and sit and pray constantly that God helps and saves me from all of these chronic illnesses sooner than later, cause let me tell you, I am only human and I would never ever handle being on that cross like Jesus.

I really want to send out a huge "Thank you" and hugs to everyone in my life that holds me, loves me, and wants me around for awhile longer, so I will strive to do just that, be around as long as I can until I am called home.

So Keep Smiling

Carla


P.S. Full Disclosure - if you are a God hater, sorry, I am not and so this message comes with God in mind and in my life...